Thursday, June 16, 2011
I have a redneck nephew that was overly excited upon hearing of the death of Osama Bin Laden. Let's call this nephew "Excitable Boy".
Excitable Boy didn't want to dig up Osama's grave and make a cage with the bones, he wanted to dig up the corpse so he could piss on it. Excitable Boy made sure everyone on Facebook was aware of his desire. I tried engaging Excitable Boy in a discussion of American foreign policy in the last 200 years by asking him "If/Then" questions.
If the USA is justified in invading Afghanistan and killing untold numbers of civilians in an effort to hunt down Osama because he may have had something to do with the murder of 3000 people during the attacks on 9-11, then are the Iranians justified in invading the USA and killing untold numbers of civilians in an effort to hunt down the Americans involved in the overthrow of the democratically elected Iranian government in 1953? Are the Cambodians justified in invading the US, killing untold numbers of civilians while they search for Nixon's grave so they can dig up his corpse, waterboard Henry Kissinger with the piss they'll pour on Nixon, then execute Kissinger and piss on his corpse, too, because of the 600,000 or so Cambodians that were killed by the Nixon/Kissinger bombings?
Variations on this question were asked regarding Chile, Vietnam,El Salvador, Nicaragua, The Philippines etc., but Excitable Boy (A good Christian Boy who loves his mommy and was telling everybody on Facebook the previous week during Easter to be humble because Jesus died for you) could not/would not answer the questions, and in fact knew nothing about what I was talking about. I doubt he read any of the links I provided to him, because The United States of America only intervenes in foreign countries with the purest of heart.
When it became obvious that Excitable Boy wasn't willing to answer the questions, I wished him luck with the Christianity thing and suggested he actually try practicing it (WBWJPO; Whose Body Would Jesus Piss On?) before heading back to his video game where he pretends to shoot people all day long.