Saturday, January 31, 2009

Steal This Blogroll Amnesty Day Cartoon

Skippy, Jon Swift, and BlueGal run down the voodoo on Blogroll Amnesty Day.

Feel free to use the above cartoon for your B.A.D. posts or link buttons!

Friday, January 30, 2009








Distributorcap NY has photos of the worlds largest Chia Pet, constructed by Iraqis in honor of George W. Bush.

Rush Limbaugh gives Republicans Hope

A Fugly 4th Quarter for GDP at The Newshoggers.

John Who and John Yoo at The Heretik

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Salty Saul D.

Tom: Steve, have you seen this article? Obama's warrantless wiretaps uncovered a phone sex ring with Arlen Specter reading passages of The Warren Commission Report in the nude. See, if you text the words "Magic Bullet Theory" to 1-900-471-1600, then...

Steve: Tom, what the hell are you doing?

Tom: I'm waiting for you to give me my job back.

Steve: Not this time. Ain't gonna happen. No. No way.

Tom: Hey, I'm a patient man. I'll come in every day, read my paper, drink my coffee, and maybe bring 50 of my closest friends.

Steve: Damn! Put an apron on and get to work.

Tom: The last time he fired me, I rented a big U-Haul for a week. I rounded up every scraggly homeless guy and every crusty bag lady in town and brought 'em her for coffee. Filled up every table right before the lunch rush. Steve caved after 2 days...

Bob: I've never seen a guy work so hard to get such a crappy job. What's the catch?

( Today's Specials: Alinsky Pie, $1.50 a slice)

Friday, January 23, 2009

Green Onions



What do we have for our contestants, Johnnie?

You just never know, do ya?

The words of the Profits are written on the subway walls.

"Hey Louis! That was quite the inauguration, huh? Did you catch all the action, or were you too busy masturbating to Reagan's old Chesterfield's commercials on YouTube?"

"Fuck you, Grill Rat, and your Liberal Media, Too."

"You don't mind if I join you, do ya? Have you seen this article? 'Unitary Executive President Obama Orders Warrantless Wiretapping of All Republicans'...Spying reveals phone sex between Arlen Specter, Joe the Plumber, Orrin Hatch, and the Maytag Repairman..."

"Check please!"

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for Geprge W. Bush: #3, 2, 1....




#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15, #14, #13,#12, #11, #10, #9, #8 ,#7, #6, #5, #4

#3 Start a Courtney Love Tribute Band with Mike Huckabee, and call it "Ass Hole".

#2 Judge and Stewards Commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association.

#1 Dabble in the lucrative Post Modern Irony Market by narrating a series of audio books. "That's right," Colonel Cathcart cried emphatically. "You're either for us or against us. There's no two ways about it."
"I'm afraid he's got you," added Colonel Korn.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #8


#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15, #14, #13,#12, #11, #10, #9

#8 Curator of "The Ed Meese Collection": A sticky, secret stash of 1980's porno magazines.

A big tip o' the whip to Blue Gal for unearthing "Kitten with a whip"

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Cow , A Chickenhawk, Sarah Palin, and a Rabbi Walk into a Bar Mitzvah...

Today, Israel opened up a new front in its ongoing war by laying seige to the city of Postville, Iowa, home of Agriprocessors, the largest kosher meat packing plant in the United States.

On 12 May 2008, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) staged a raid that was described as the largest of the year. Federal authorities arrested hundreds of illegal immigrant workers during the raid.

Rubashkin, CEO and son of Agriprocessors founder Aaron Rubashkin, was arrested on October 30, 2008 in conection with ICE's May 12 immigration raid at Agriprocessors, then the largest single site immigration raid in US history. On the day of the raid, about 75% of Agriprocessors’ workforce was illegal. ICE agents found stacks of blank Green Cards in Agriprocessors’ HR office, along with forged Green Cards and other fraudulent documents.

As of October 2008, Agriprocessors owners and managers were charged with 9,311 misdemeanor charges for illegally hiring minors and allowing them to operate dangerous equipment.Israel denies that having a 9 year old child operate a high speed bone saw is dangerous.

In late 2004, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals released an unusually gory video filmed undercover at Agriprocessors, showing cattle having their tracheas and esophagi being ripped out of their necks and surviving for minutes after shechita.

Noted animal welfare expert and meat scientist Temple Grandin called Agriprocessors procedures an "atrocious abomination" and worse than anything she had ever seen in over 30 kosher abattoirs.Israel denies the charges of atrocities. Rabbi Yaakov Wasserman, in an interview with an unlicensed plumber from Ohio, defended the ritualized slaughter.

An internal report from the USDA not only held that Agriprocessors engaged in acts of inhumane slaughter, but that USDA inspectors were sleeping on the job, playing computer games, and had accepted bribes of free meat to ignore violations at the plant.Israel denies having any kind of influence over the implementation of US policy.

In September 2005, workers at Agriprocessors’ distribution site in Brooklyn, New York, voted to join the United Food and Commercial Workers union. The company challenged the vote, claiming that the majority of workers who voted were in the US illegally, making their votes invalid despite protection granted undocumented workers in the National Labor Relations Act.

The Rubashkin family was reported in the Cedar Rapids Gazette on June 5, 2008, to have denied any criminal activity; Aaron Rubashkin said that he did not know "workers were illegal and that they had produced what appeared to be legitimate work documents". Yet, in an earlier labor relation case, the firm had made use of the argument that it knew that some of the employees at another of its facilities, in Brooklyn, NY, were illegal immigrants.

According to the U.S. attorney's office for the Northern District of Iowa, those arrested "include 290 Guatemalans, 93 Mexicans, 2 Israelis and 4 Ukrainians".Israel denies that the 2 Israelis had immigrated illegally, and contends that they were "settlers".

Israel has vowed to crush all oppositon to the meat plant, and allow the 2 Israelis to resettle Postville.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #9


#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15, #14, #13,#12, #11, #10

#9 Fortune writer for melamine laden fortune cookies. "Never trust a man who tucks his shirt into his underwear."

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #10


#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15, #14, #13,#12, #11

#10. Starring role in the live action remake of Secret Squirrel, with Alberto Gonzales as Morocco Mole.

Dick Cheney is looking alot like Hy Spy.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #11




#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15, #14, #13,#12

#11. Habitat for Humanity homebuilder, Middle East peace negotiator, and monitor for free elections around the world.....Hahaha hohohoho hehehehe hehheh ahhhhhhhhh...OK, just kidding heh....that's Jimmy Carter's gig, #11 for Bush, Key Grip on a Jeff Gannon Film. Hold on tighter, Mr. President. Your grip is Key for this next scene. As a "reporter", you gave me nothing but soft-balls, Oh My!

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #12


#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15, #14, #13

#12. Turn the Crawford Ranch into a Private Prison. Hire G. Gordon Liddy to be warden. Offer the Ken Lay Memorial Cell to Bernie Madoff in exchange for a contribution to Jeb's Presidential run. Coach the prison guards' football team. Nickname the team "The Laybramoff Warriors".

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #13


#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15, #14.

#13. Become Head Coach of a rec-center winter league men's basketball team called The Langostino Freedom Fighters.

He's Barbara Bush's Son, so whadda ya expect?


Former Australian Prime Minister John Howard and 119 of his closest friends are staying at Blair House while they help President Bush remove the letter "O" from all the White House keyboards.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #14


#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16 , #15.

#14. Gag writer for Zippy The Pinhead, or Fox News Reporter?

"If a frog broadsides a Mercedes Benz, who pays the damages?"

"I'm watching two dogs drink out of a glass of ice water, and it's none of my business why they are still here."

Monday, January 05, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #15


#20 and #19, #18, #17 , #16
#15. "I'll become an author by hiring Ben Domenech to "assist" with my autobiography...On Meet The Press, David Gregory will interview me during my book tour, but will fail to ask me about my birth in Tampico, Illinois, my first marriage in 1940 to Jane Wyman, or the rejection of my nomination of Robert Bork for Supreme Court Justice."

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush: #16


#20 and #19
#16 Form a partnership with Oscar Mayer. Turn the Crawford Ranch back into a pig farm. Sell the pigs to raise cash for funding covert paramilitary operations in New Orleans

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush in 2009: #17


#20 and #19
#17 Form a partnership with Ollie North. Turn the Crawford Ranch into a marijuana farm/ meth lab. Sell the drugs to raise cash for funding covert military operations in Central and South America.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Friday, January 02, 2009

Top 20 Job Prospects for George W. Bush in 2009

#20. Co-host a new reality show with Kellie Pickler: "Are You Smarter Than A Third Grader?"

#19. Co-host a waterboarding game show on Fox with Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney called "Squeal or No Squeal".