Tuesday, April 01, 2008

McCain Chooses a Running Mate


Repubican Presidential Candidate John McCain, in a bold move, appointed Vice President Dick Cheney to head a search commitee designed to locate a suitable running mate for McCain. After several hours of deliberation inside a man-sized safe, Vice President Cheney emerged and declared himself to be "The Natural Choice".

"The Founders of our Great Country saw the wisdom of not limiting the power of the Fourth Branch of the government, and The 22nd Amendment to The Constitution, thankfully, does nothing to change that. Vice Presidenting is hard work. I stay razor sharp by 'practicing my chops'. My work won't allow my conscience to let me sleep, so if, or I should say when the phone rings at 3:00 am, I am the Natural Choice.I'm already awake." The Vice President announced before retiring to his bunker for a work out.


Meanwhile, President George W. Bush started a new tradition. In addition to throwing out the first pitch at The Nationals opening day game, the President attended the Texas Rangers opening day. A big fan of the batter's box, President Bush was allowed to hit the first pitch. "I've always been a fan of the Designated Hitler in the American League, and now I get to be one!" The President quipped after hitting a weak grounder to first base. Bat boy Joe Lieberman was quick to whisper in the Presidents ear "Hitter, you meant to say hitter."

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