Bristol Palin is Pregnant with Danny Bonaduce's Two Headed Love Child

We had a dream, we'd go travelin' together,
We'd spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on.
Somethin' always happens whenever we're together
We get a happy feelin' when we're singing a song...

Gil Scott Heron

So, I'm watching a black and white film on the community college cable station, a dubbed pic about oil field workers in Mexico trying to drive a couple of trucks of Nitro to an oil field fire, in an effort to blow up the source of the fire. Good flic. The film is followed up by Beat The Devil, starring Humphrey Bogart, written by Truman Capote and someone else, I only had one eye on the screen, I only remember the one . You could say I'm Live Blogging Beat the Devil, except I haven't been paying the slightest bit of attention. Attention must be paid elsewhere. ( and just as I'm highlighting the word "elsewhere", a character on Beat The Devil says the word "elsewhere", just before "The Diamond Boys , The Gold Boys..."....look it up!

Bongwater

Heart of a Dog

I hate Illinois Nazis.

The Old Grey Hound Ain't What She Used To Be

Several years ago, I took a road trip to Colorado on a Greyhound Bus. On the way home, the bus leaving out of Denver was packed. Every seat was filled, and the world's stinkiest man sat down next to me. I'm not talking about your run of the mill underarm B.O...No,no...I'm talking about Otis the Drunk's pee stained mattress smeared with used kitty litter stink. It was like someone dug up the rotting corpse of Neal Cassidy's stumblebum brother from a LoDo alley, where he was pissed on and puked on by every drunk Rockies fan leaving Coors Field, and then was left to ferment on the swampy banks of the South Platte. I'm not exaggerating, it was that bad. And to top it all off, he had the Ratso Rizzo Patented Tuberculosis Cough down pat as he nodded off on my shoulder. I switched buses in Omaha after about 12 hours.

But, as bad as it was, that was a cakewalk compared to these bus rides.



I'll never complain about that bus ride again.

Horton Hears a Coup

When I heard that Obama was going to lay a wreath for the victims of 9-11, I thought he was flying to Chile to offer an official apology.My mistake, so sorry. Carry on.

Pussy Footing.

Somebody help me out here. Aren't they supposed to break the guy's door down and put a bullet through his head? Isn't that how it is supposed to be done? What the fuck is wrong with these people?!? A trial? We don't need no steenking trial! Give me a fuckin' break! Wolverines!!!

Remember When Palestinians Danced in the Streets After 9-11 and Americans Thought It Was Barbaric?

Watching the news this morning, and the Man on The Street reports showing drunken frat boys wildly cheering about the death of CIA asset Osama Bin Laden got me wondering who the next Boogie Man will be. Iraq bleeds on, Afghanistan bleeds on, Pakistan bleeds on, and Libya bleeds anew.


"I am truly not that concerned about him."
- G.W. Bush, repsonding to a question about bin Laden's whereabouts,
3/13/02 (The New American, 4/8/02)


"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority."
- G.W. Bush, 3/13/02




Harry Dean Stanton was in Cool Hand Luke,and Repo Man.
Plastic Jesus was covered by Mojo Nixon and Jello Biafra. Is Lou Dobbs any relation to Fred C. Dobbs?


Exporting American Values to the Market Driven Iraq Healthcare System

Pakistanis Love a Man in Uniform




Do they have Spider Holes in Libya?

Walking in Circles, I Come To My Senses....Sometimes!

The Zencomix Studios would like to extend many thanks to that Aristocrat of Aristocrats, Sandal Skivvington Oondapahnts III, also known as "Sandy Underpants", for helping to finish burying bricks for the walking meditation labyrinth. We coulda done it without you, but it wouldn't have been nearly as much fun!

Nobody Names Their Kids "Dagny" Anymore

In an effort to boost wilting ticket sales, movie theaters will begin adding soma to the popcorn salt when screening Atlas Shrugged. Also, too, Sensurround, Atomo-Vision, and Odorama to be added in select theaters.

Blog Against Theocracy

I've been outside playing in the mud for the last couple of months, and Blog Against Theocracy snuck up on me. I have no new cartoon for you, so you get this rerun (the original of this cartoon was given away free to one of the folks who bought The Last Of The Decal Liquors!)

I have some questions for the Christians who are trying to make the USA a Christian Theocracy.

Should you forsake all that you have?
Whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple. -- Luke 14:33

Should you hate your own life?
The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 12:25

Should you keep some of the commandments, give all your money to the poor, and follow Jesus?
And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? ... Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother. And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up. ...thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.-- Luke 18:18-22

Should you not get married, (Married people don't go to heaven)?
They which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage. -- Luke 20:35

Should you cut off body parts?
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. Matthew 19:12

so that you could be one of the 144,000 male virgins, who alone will make it to heaven (Rev.14:3-4).

Should you abandon your home and family for Jesus' name's sake?
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. -- Matthew 19:29, Mark 10:29-30, Luke 18:29-30

Should you hate your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, and your own life?
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. -- Luke 14:26

...or should you not hate your brother?
Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. -- 1 John 3:15

Should you ask your parents to beat you with a rod?
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14

Should you turn fornicators you know (and yourself if you are a fornicator!) over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh so your spirit may be saved?
It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you ... deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. -- 1 Corinthians 5:1-5

Should you become an Israeli citizen?
And so all Israel shall be saved: as it is written, There shall come out of Sion the Deliverer, and shall turn away ungodliness from Jacob. -- Romans 11:26

Are you doomed if you were circumcised?
Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing ... ye are fallen from grace. -- Galatians 5:2-4

Should you Love your enemies, do good to them, and give them lots of money?
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. -- Luke 6:35, Matthew 5:44-45

Should you kill nonbelievers?
If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you ... Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die. -- Deuteronomy 13:6-10

Leave your answers in the comments!

Who wants to own this comic book?

Here's what you do....SORRY....OUT OF PRINT

and send me an email, doogntoon at yahoo dot com, being sure to include a mailing address, and I will mail you a copy. If you don't want to use Paypal, send me an email and we'll arrange something else.

Each copy of the comic book includes 28 pages of story artwork, 4 half pages of artwork contained in the hand binding, and additional centerfold artwork, plus some original hand drawn stuff. Each comic book has unique special secret song inside bonus tracks! No two books are alike.

The first person to respond to this offer will receive the Jaclyn Smith Autographed Centerfold Edition!

Clarence John Thomas

You wanna know the real reason Clarence Thomas never speaks when the Supreme Court is in session? Well, I'll tell ya why!



It's because he's got one of Bill O'Reilly's pubic hairs stuck in his throat.

When The Revolution Comes

A few weeks ago, I posted a picture of a Colonel Sanders impersonator who had duped U.N Security into granting him access to restricted areas, and I accompanied the picture with lyrics for The Last Poets "When The Revolution Comes"

When The Revolution comes
When The Revolution comes
When the revolution comes
some of us will probably catch it on TV,
with chicken hanging from our mouths.
You'll know its revolution
cause there won't be no commercials

When the revolution comes

...and there were links to the revolution unfolding in Egypt, and there was a link to Flavor Flav opening up a fried chicken restaurant in Iowa.

Now, Flavor Flav may be a clown, but he's no fool. What attention seeking clown wouldn't want to be around when The Circus comes to town with cameras in tow?

Fela Kuti

Over at DarkBlack's a month or so ago, we had a discussion about the music business. I don't remember the exact nature of the post and comments, but I do remember telling the story about the time Dr. John had recorded With G. Love and Special Sauce.

My Buddy Nate was the roadie for G. Love, and when he swung through town on a tour, he brought me an unmixed soundboard cassette of the song "Yeah, It's That Easy", from the upcoming CD by the same name. It had several different takes; Dr. John played piano on one, Hammond organ on another. It sounded great, and Nate and I agreed they should just release it "wet", as is. By the time the CD came out, Dr. John's contributions were buried in the mix under hand clapping and "nah nah, nah nah" background vocals. I shook my head in disgust.

Shortly after the discussion at DarkBlack's, I was listening to the local pirate radio station, and I heard the same guitar and drum riffs from "Yeah, It's That Easy" in this Fela Kuti song "No Agreement". So, now I know where G. Love got the music from.

R.I.P. Gary Moore

Bedtime for Bonzo Droog band

Lagniappe:Loads of linkage at Blckdgrd.Also, too, Neil Young




Comix, comics, comixx, comic strips, editorial cartoons, cartoons, comic books, underground comix, satire, parody, Republicans, political cartoons, John Poindexter, Ollie North, G. Gordon Liddy, John Bolton, Ronald Reagan, Sarh Palin, Joe Lieberman

Zencomix

Are the candles hotter in hell?

From the archives...

Blogroll Amnesty Day

UPDATED WITH LINKAGE:

Blckdgrd is always generous with the links, and always manages to dig up you might have missed, including, but not limited to politics, music, poetry, novels, and professional soccer.

The name of this blog may be meaningless, but Ethan offers up some thoughtful critiques of "liberals".

Freida Bee is Redneck Punkrockery of the highest order. Just another blog that's been taken over by corduroy, Hooters™, Hall and Oates, incessant complaining, lesbian tendencies, and other typical stuff.

My friend Megan Freeman writes great poetry!

Physio Prof!

Urantian Sojourn!

Coffee Messiah!


In the middle of drawing this, I had a deja vu about the cartoon. Did somebody else do an image similar to this in past years?

I really should have done this before I went outside to shovel snow for 4 hours, but I'm a procrastinator.The day before the storm I was putting out some old pumpkin seeds for the birds. We ordinarily get a lot of cardinals, a few blue jays, a couple of different kinds of woodpeckers, and the assorted small birds (sparrows, juncos, etc). The storm welled up from the south, and we had a bunch of birds show up that I don't usually see in winter; a couple of wrens, cedar waxwings, a flock of starlings, and a flock of robins.

Where does the time go? Blogroll Amnesty Day already? Feel free to use this cartoon if you want to. If I'm on your blogroll, and you are not on mine, drop a link in the comments, and I'll get you added.

We are missing Jon Swift this year.

I'm also missing my old buddy Nate Solod.

When The Revolution Comes

When the revolution comes
When the revolution comes
When the revolution comes
some of us will probably catch it on TV,
with chicken hanging from our mouths.
You'll know its revolution
cause there won't be no commercials

When the revolution comes