Is Mitt Romney a particle or a wave?

Based on the Herman Cain Uncertainty Principle, the Gingrich Box Equation, and Bachmann's Constant, it appears as though Mitt Romney is the ultimate Quantum Candidate. The Probability Wave of Romney's Positon is entirely dependent on who is observing Romney at any given time.



The Ron Paul Paradox of Entangled Partisans is entirely consistent with Santorum's Slit Experiments, and is one of the best pieces of evidence supporting Karl Rove's philosophy of invalidation of a theory by falsification-experiments, also known as "rat fucking". Is Romney involved in Rovian Ratfucking? It depends on whose box Gingrich is in.

Jesus Christ's Half Brother Is Alive And Well On The Spokane Indian Reservation

" 1970
Happy Birthday James and I'm in the Breakaway Bar drinking too many beers when the Vietnam war comes on television. The white people always want to fight someone and they always get the dark skinned people to do the fighting. All I know about this war is what Seymour told me when he came back from his tour of duty over there and he said all the gooks he killed looked like us and Seymour said every single gook he killed looked exactly like someone he knew on the reservation."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie

Armistice Day Poppy

Patsy Decline

I'm a bit of a conspiracy guy, and the more I think about this Herman Cain business, the more I smell a rat. He's a patsy. His "handlers" had to have known all along about all the allegations against him. They had to have known that it would all come out in the press. Maybe Herman thought they didn't know, and he could just cruise control on by, like it would never come up. He seems to have a strong sense of denial.

So, if The Handlers knew that this is how it was going to play out, why bother going through with the charade? Probably one of the same reasons Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum continue with their campaigns. It's a great way to launder money!

You want more conspiracy? Joe Frazier just died, Heavy D just died, and the old They Die In Threes Urban Myth gets fluffed when the Cain Campaign tries to pull a page from the Bob Roberts playbook, but things spiral out of control. They forget to take into account Herman's cholesterol drugs and the boner pills causing an unsafe drop in his blood pressure, and an inability for the blood to clot.

Giggity Giggity

"My Pubic Hair Is A Bird, Your Argument Is Invalid" is a helluva defense, Herman, but let's couple it to the Ronald Reagan Defense for good measure.

Koch Cain

I'm sure you've surmised by now, I'm of the opinion that Herman Cain is a scumbag. Just as I believed Anita Hill about Clarence Thomas, I believe the women who leveled accusations against The Spermanator. Of course, I have no "evidence" to back up my beliefs, just my own feelings based on experiences of working for the type of power hungry men who think they can take whatever they want because they are in a position of power. Sexual harassment is a symptom of a larger disease. So color me judgemental, but Herman Cain is a scumbag.

I'm glad the women who made the accusations are choosing to remain anonymous. It would serve no purpose to come forward at this time, and they would be doing nothing other than drawing a huge bull's-eye on their backs for some Conservative whack job with a gun. They would be vilified in the media by the likes of other scumbags like Bill O'Reilly, another power hungry man in a position of power who thinks he can take whatever he wants because he's in a position of power. The women would literally be putting their lives at risk, and to what end?

The Brother From Another Mother? The maggoty apple doesn't fall far from the tree.



UPDATE: Terry at Urantian Sojourn beat me to the punch with "Koch Cain".

Sperm N. Cain

Circle the wagons, trap him in the circle, then stick the shivs in him.

If Spermin' Cain says "I did not have sex with that woman", somebody owes me a sandwich.

Tommy Hollis is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself

Somewhere in the bowels of the Opposition Research marketing arm of the Mitt Romney Machine, 2 White Dudes with Matching Suits and Skidmarked Magical Underwear are giving high-fives as the box office receipts for "Primary Colored (Who Went Down on the Way to The Top)" grow larger.

Meanwhile, in the mind of Herman "Nice Chicken, Honey, I Am Sticking With The Mustache" Cain, a pizza delivery man porn fantasy develops...

Kwik Change Cain

Asshopper, snatch the pubic hairs from the top of my Coke, and you may leave The Temple.





Heh,heh......Master said "Snatch".....Heh,heh....

Herman Cain as Daffy Duck

“I am sticking with the mustache.” Herman Cain

Over at Tengrain's place, Tex Betsy posted this Herman Cain video....



In comments, Johnny B quotes from The Atlantic: "Herman Cain’s ‘Yellow Flowers’ Ad Is a Dadaist Meta-Western" By Conor Friedersdorf

“I am sticking with the mustache,” Herman Cain declared on CNN earlier this month, and can you blame him? Some may see a mere personal grooming choice, but I cannot help but be reminded of Dadaist Marcel Duchamp who in 1919 painted a mustache and beard on a postcard sized reproduction of the Mona Lisa, bringing the Dadaist movement to wider popular attention. Can there be any doubt that Cain is the closest an American presidential candidate has come to being a fellow traveler in that movement? It was only when I watched the campaign ad above, titled “He Carried Yellow Flowers,” that it hit me: surf the Internet for explanations of Dadaism, and you’ll find that they double as descriptions of the Cain in 2012 campaign.

As a fan, follower, and "student" of Dadism and Marcel Duchamp, I'd like to answer Conor's question,"Can there be any doubt that Cain is the closest an American presidential candidate has come to being a fellow traveler in that movement?" I'd say there is considerable doubt that he is the closest. He doesn't come close to Mike Gravel's 2008 campaign.




Up next from Herman, a video of a couple of Good Ol' Boys Never Meanin' No Harm taking a piss break during lap 87 of NASCAR Monster Truck Hog Heaven to discuss the virtues of Herman.

Herman Cain's Latest Campaign Video

The truth is out there!

Man of Constant Sorrow by The Doggy Bottom Boys

Same sex marriage is legal in Iowa. This is Rick Santorum in campaign desperation mode trying to appeal to all the Republican bigots in Iowa who voted to not retain Iowa Supreme Court Justices. Don't be surprised if Santorum wins the caucus, just like Huckabee won it back in 2008. Don't be surprised, either, if Santorum loses and is then found dead in a Dubuque motel, ass-fixy-ate-id, a dildo up his ass and wearing a scuba diving wet suit. I figure the odds be 50-50.

Low Brow

"You have to put the eyebrows on it!"
Frank Zappa

Smoke 'Em if You Got 'Em!

Michele Bachmann, in point 6 of her 11 point “American Jobs, Right Now” Blueprint for Economic Prosperity and Job Creation calls for the legalization of natural resources.

How Many Days Until Zappadan?

Cal Schenkel tagged me in this photo...



....and I removed the tag.


A few times a year, seems like clockwork, Facebook goes ahead and changes the layouts, changes privacy stuff, etc. I'd never been that comfortable on Facebook, and I only really joined because the Filipino Clan had abandoned the Yahoo Email Group, and they all migrated to Facebook. If I wanted to see all the photos, I had to join. But, after 2 years on Facebook, I've had enough.

Facebook would love it if everyone's privacy settings were set to "everyone", because that is their business model. The most amount of personal info that is shared with the most amount of people is going to earn them the most amount of advertising dollars. I keep waiting for someone to steal my identity using the fake birthdate that I changed to another fake birthdate, and that "Only Me" can see. Ha! Why can my friends share my info with their apps? I'll know where the identity was stolen from when the fake birthdate shows up with it.

Some "friends" will not even notice I am gone. That guy I knew from High School that sent the friend request, then never had 2 words to say, the friend of a friend from the blog world who never bothers to comment on the blog, the person with 426 friends, and their total just dropped by one and they have no idea who is no longer their "friend", they're just collecting "friends" as trophies to put on the mantel.

I knew my days were numbered there about a month after I joined. I cracked a Mitt Romney joke on the wall of an old friend, a Massachusetts Republican, a guy I've known since 1971, and he "unfriended" me without saying a word! It's a wonder I lasted that long. Sometimes it got ugly, like the times I called out all my Catholic family and friends about the priests raping children, the Vatican covering it up. I was met by silence from most, except that one guy from High School who had the total meltdown, threatening violence for talking bad about The Church. Good times, good times.

Wasn't all bad, though. Chatting with Bill Griffith or Steve Lafler was great fun, but not enough to keep me there. Also, I'm heading into the cold weather drawing season, got a couple of comic books I want to finish up, and I also want to start investigating some of the digital drawing tools for making vector drawings with an eye towards making animated cartoons. I don't have time for Facebook.

So, I methodically untagged every photo I was in, deleted every comment I made, removed every post I made, every link, every video from my wall and the walls of my friends. I deleted every photo I posted, then deleted the albums they were in. I deleted everything, and I'm sure when you reach a certain number deletions, it trips the "OH My God, He's Deleting Everything,Let's Slow Him Down By Making Him Click On Everything 5 Times" Facebook Algorithm. Fuck you, assholes! When I got everything deleted, I unfriended everybody, then "Deleted" the account, which is not the same thing as "Deactivating" the account. They deliberately make the delete button more difficult to find, and I suspect some people who want to delete their accounts mistakenly think that deactivating the account is the same thing.

Wayback Machine

Bow Down Before The Ones You Serve

If only those Tibetans had worn suits and ties, instead of looking like a bunch of pot smoking hippie hobos, then the police wouldn't have had to beat up a bunch of Buddhists with billy clubs.

Figures with Meat

Hat tip to Hoback!


"I kinda like this one, Bob, leave it!"

The House of the Dead

"There are people who are like tigers thirsting for blood. Anyone who has experienced this power, this unlimited mastery of the body, blood, and soul of a fellow man made from the same clay as himself, a brother in the law of Christ- anyone who has experienced the power and full license to inflict the greatest humiliation upon another creature made in the image of God will unconsciously lose the mastery of his own sensation.

Tyranny is a habit; it may develop, and it does develop at last, into a disease. I maintain that the very best of men may be coarsened and hardened into a brute by habit. Blood and power intoxicate; coarseness and depravity are developed; the mind and the heart are tolerant of the most abnormal things, till at last they come to relish them.

The man and the citizen is lost for ever in the tyrant, and the return to human dignity, to repentance and regeneration becomes almost impossible. Moreover, the example, the possibility of such despotism, has a pervading influence on the whole of society; such power is a temptation. Society, which looks indifferently on such a phenomenon, is already contaminated to its foundations."

Fyodor Dostoyevsky in "The House Of The Dead"

The Day 9-11 Bought The Farm

There's an Underground Comix story called "The Day JFK Bought The Farm" from 1982 (Gates of Eden #1) by Michael T. Gilbert. The comic is told from the point of view of a young teenager who is missing all his favorite shows on TV because every channel has coverage of the JFK assassination and funeral ("They even bumped Rawhide!"). It is a savage satire, simultaneously ripping on the budding "Grief Porn" of 24/7 TV coverage of tragedy and the growing influence of the Boob Tube in American culture.

Hey, how about this for commemorating 9-11? A National Moment of Silence!! (the two exclamation points are necessary in representing the Twin Towers on the eventual bumper sticker) on 9-11, and the moment lasts from 12:01 a.m. until 11:59 p.m. No? Too Austere?

Well, how about this? "The Commodification of Grief Porn" (came across that phrase in one of BDR's generous links) has only had its surface scratched. Let's make 9-11 a National Holiday, give the kids the day off from school. The Holiday will be celebrated like Halloween, The Day of The Dead, Christmas and Easter all rolled into one. People will dress up in costumes (this will give Rudy Giuliani an excuse to dress up like Marilyn Monroe in public), kids will go door to door. Instead of handing out candy, you'll be expected to hand out any unused prescription drugs. Kids will go to school the next day and swap their favorites. ("Hey Joey, I'll trade you some Zoloft for a couple of Viagras.") Somebody on Tumblr will make an animated GIF of Charlie Brown smoking "rocks" .

The week prior to 9-11 Day, in school and at home, children will erect replicas of the Twin Towers using old cereal boxes. Box Tops for Education will be replaced by Boxes for 9-11. Back to school shopping in August will see a spike in Tony the Tiger's bottom line. Underneath the Twin Towers, the 9-11 presents will placed. Some families will open one present on 9-11 Eve, others will wait until 9-11 Morning to open presents. Every TV Christmas Special will be retooled for 9-11. The Grinch Who Stole 9-11 will break box office records.

At the Mall, men will dress up in Dick Cheney costumes, and children will line up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for 9-11. The stockings were hung by the Twin Towers with care in the hopes that St. Dick would soon be there to scare. The 9-11 Shopping Season will begin mid July, and all the 9-11 toys will be made in China.

Let's Roll!

And if they were Muslim Soldiers doing the pilfering, we'd be hearing about it 24/7

But it's probably some Christianists looking to set up a militia, or maybe a couple of Sons of The Confederacy hoping for the South to Rise Again ,so expect this story to fade away.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN AFGHANISTAN.....

NEVER FORGET: THE US HAS A LONG HISTORY OF TORTURE

This cartoon is of American Troops torturing a Filipino with "the water cure" during the war against Filipinos. The cartoon comes from The Forbidden Book, a collection of political cartoons and history about the 15 year long Philippine-American War that began in 1898 (Teddy Roosevelt declared an end to the war on July 4,1902, despite the fact that the first battles in Mindanao had just begun. Mission Accomplished!) It is an amazing book. NEVER FORGET

New Mother Nature Taking Over

Jesus Stole My Hubcaps

Euforquestra

NEVER FORGET the time Rudy Giuliani used 9-11 rubble to fill potholes

NEVER FORGET to take the caps lock off before writing emails

MEANWHILE, IN AFGHANISTAN....

Coloring Outside The Lines

“We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom,” was just released by Wayne Bell, publisher of Really Big Coloring Books Inc. in St. Louis. It begins with big graphic black-and-white drawings of bin Laden plotting the 9/11 attacks, then shows the burning towers, the hunt for bin Laden, and ends with a Navy SEAL shooting bin Laden as he hides behind a woman in Islamic garb.

According to the publisher, the book’s initial print run of 10,000 copies has already sold out.

I've been doing it all wrong. Here I've been trying to sell comic books when the real money is in coloring books. Zen Coloring Books next to the Highlights in every dentist's office in America!! Never Forget!!!

This Hotdog Will Not be Getting The Weiner Treatment

Ballpark Franks... They plump when you cook 'em!

The Great White Hope

Apparently, they were out of Black Granite.

They found Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner's Head!

Apparently, he helped Michele Bachmann win the Republican Straw Poll in Ames, Iowa.

This is what is affectionately known as "Pallin' Around With Terrorists".

Not Going To Eat Barack Obama's Dog Food, Not Going To Eat My Peas

Newsweek should have waited another week.

Not To Be Confused With The Lobster Award

I'm not much into some of the chain mail blog memes, but it appears as though I've won an award, the much coveted Liebster Award. I've been lacking lately in my linkage to other blogs, so I guess this is a good enough excuse to post some links.

“Liebster,” in the German and Spanish vernacular, means “beloved”…According to the Liebster Blog Award guidelines, I’m to link to the blog what gave me the award and then pass it on to five equally worthy candidates.

So, here are some cool blogs, check them out if you haven't done so yet!


Blckdgrd

The Defeatists

Welcome to Pottersville 2

Mock Paper Scissors

The Impolitic

The Torture Never Stops

Today's Democracy Now show has a story and interview with Donald Vance, an American veteran and contract worker in Iraq. He and Nathan Ertel were detained and tortured by the American military for 3 months after it became known that they were working with the FBI to uncover illegal activities by their employer, Shield Group Security, during the war. They are suing Rumsfeld, and a Federal Appeals Court has granted the right for the trial to proceed.

In rejecting the request to dismiss the case, the court ruled on Monday the plaintiffs had sufficiently alleged that Mr Rumsfeld had played a personal role in authorising the harsh treatment to which they had been subjected while in US custody.

Free Thought Blogs

Comradde PhysioProffe is now posting at Free Thought Blogs.This new group blog was founded by Ed Brayton of Dispatches From The Culture Wars, and the founding bloggers include Ed, PZ Myers of Pharyngula, The Digital Cuttlefish, Chris Rodda, and Darksyde. I did the blog banner for the Comradde's new blog. He really likes The New York Yankees, booze, and science.

Add Inches To Your Twitter

The Secrets of Cartooning Revealed!

here at Adam Crazypants place.

Abortion

If Michelle Bachmann was a Democrat, and her husband ran a Planned Parenthood clinic, there would be no end to the questions , 24-7. Here's a question for ya, Michelle; have you ever gotten off a Dollywood Log Flume?

The World is a Town

Coffee Messiah is doing a mail art project called The World is a Town. Join the fun, the deadline is 8-31-2011!

How's the war in Afghanistan going?

Indubitably, quite refreshingly.

The Ladykiller

"I shall defend myself forthright."



Forthright? Forthwith? Who the fuck talks like that?

Lutheryn Skynod

I must be in the middle of some kind of conspiracy!





Freebird!

Take a drive to Beverly Hills, just before dawn...

Roy has a post and a piece at The Village Voice about the race baiting of right wingers.


Back in 2008 I posted this cartoon in response to this post at Instapunk. I originally uploaded the cartoon to Photobucket, but they pulled it off for "Violation of the Terms of Use". I'm uploading on Blogger instead of Photobucket, and someone from Instapunk will probably show up and complain that it is "Objectionable Content", but I don't give a fuck.